Let’s Talk Workshops
Listen to this Reading:
Kyle Tolle reading “Let’s Talk Workshops”
I’ve debated whether I should write on this topic, but I have finally decided to. Lately, I’ve again taken advantage of the Counseling and Consultation Service (CCS) here at Ohio State. I used CCS a few years back, and decided to return earlier this year after several major stressors tag-teamed on me. My experience with the counselors there has been very positive.
The person I’m speaking to there recommended me to two workshops they have: ‘Mindfulness for Stress and Anxiety’ along with ‘Mental Skills for Stress Management and Performance Enhancement.’ I will refer to these from here on out as Mindfulness and Mental Skills, since I didn’t even know the longer names until I looked them up. I’m interested in the workshops because I’ve struggled with managing school, personal life, stress, all sorts of things and want to learn what I can now because moving to Colorado Springs in a few months is going to be a huge change and there’s likely to be a lot of stress come at me before I even get out there.
This is my second week (of eight) for the Mindfulness class, and it’s very challenging. We meet for 1.5 hours on Mondays, and for the other days of the week we have some homework. The first week was to listen to the body scan track from the CD accompanying the book we use. It’s a half-hour meditative track which focuses on breaking out of the “doing” mode and into the “being” mode. You focus on different areas of your body (each area for a few minutes before moving on to the next; hence the scan) and see what you notice or don’t notice there. It’s meant to help you slow down, focus on what you are feeling at this moment and look at your observations curiously and non-judgmentally. In the track, Jon Kabat-Zinn says that this is a chance to step out of clock time. I find that interesting because I have noticed that when I do the body scan, it does feel that the time goes by rather quickly. It feels like maybe 5-10 minutes instead of 30.
Last week there were a few days I just did not do the body scan. One day I straight up did not feel like doing it. The second time it was a mixture of not really wanting to do it and it being really late. For the most part, I do the scan pretty late at night (midnight or after), because it’s hard to get myself to do it any earlier. This week is turning out to be even more difficult though. I’m struggling with not seeing a real point to this practice. Even though this is just supposed to be me stepping back and I shouldn’t feel like I need to accomplish something with this meditation, I want to feel that it’s doing something for me. The past several times I have done the scan, my mind really wanders and I wonder what the point of me even doing this is. That’s my judgmental self though. I’m supposed to note what I think and then turn my attention back to the scan, but it’s hard to not have that thought creep up again, along with other random thoughts.
Along with the tracks, we’re supposed to also do a routine activity mindfully. That doesn’t mean we necessarily slow it down or anything; we’re just supposed to pay more attention while we do it. You’d be surprised at the number of things you do without thinking about them. This week, we’re also supposed to keep track of one thing per day that makes us smile. I am not sure if someone making me laugh really counts. If so, I can think of a few times, but I haven’t really been aware of them at the time (which is the goal). Other than that, I haven’t really noticed anything that I remember making me smile. I’m probably just overlooking something. Another thing we’re to do is the Mindfulness of the Breath track which is a 10-minute meditative track which focuses on breathing (as I’m sure you could guess from the title). Needless to say, I’ve had trouble getting myself to do this one too.
It’s not necessarily that I don’t want to do the practice, but that I have no motivation or focus. I have zero motivation for classes this quarter and it is leaking out into other areas of my life. It’s extremely difficult to get myself to eat or go to bed, let alone sit down for 30 minutes (now 40 with the breathing track) and do something. This is another time I wonder whether I have some degree of ADD.
Mental Skills is a 3-event workshop that had the first meeting today. There seems to be an overlap between the two (Mindfulness and Mental Skills), so I’m hoping that the more pragmatic Mental Skills will help me see a practical use for the Mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn mentions that we’re not really trying for a goal other than to hopefully see the mindfulness we cultivate during the practices spill over to other parts of our life, but unless we learn what we can really do with the mindfulness to manage stress, anxiety, depression, whatever… what’s the point!? Maybe that’s something we’ll get to in the Mindfulness class. I will write another post soon about the Mental Skills in more detail, since this one is already rather lengthy.
It’s been a while since I posted and I wanted to throw out what I’ve been up to recently. I’m interested in hearing from you though. How do you manage stress, anxiety, depression, gloomy days, that sort of stuff? Do you have a method you turn to? Maybe you just wade through it? Maybe something I’m not even thinking of? This is really an open-ended question, so be honest!
Sounds like those classes are bullshit. Really, the only effect I can see from that stuff is just taking your mind off of the stressful elements to focus on something simple and rhythmic, like breathing. It may work for some people, but it never really does anything for me.
I pretty much just wade through the shitty days, knowing that it’ll get better the next. I’m sort of in an existential funk right now, so I’m attempting to utilize philosophy to improve my general outlook on life and give me direction for the future. I haven’t even had time to start, but just having a long talk with my friend about it helped a lot.
I guess if I really need to relieve stress and have a bit of time, I just do things that are “comfort” actions. I’ll grab a cold beer, maybe play some DOTA, maybe put on some headphones and just lie down and listen to music. Nothing special.
I just typed up a response and it deleted it, son of a bitch.
Basically I said that the meditation stuff is bullshit. The whole role of it is to take your mind off the stressful things in your life and to focus your entire mind on something simple and rhythmic, like breathing. Stuff like that has never worked for me, I guess my brain is too active.
I’ve been in kind of an existential funk lately, so my solution I am pursuing is to turn to philosophy for the answers. Educate myself on what others have spent their lives to perfect, then create my own philosophy and direction for my life. My plan is to work through Descartes, Nietzsche, Hegel, Heidegger, etc. We’ll see how that goes. Even just a long philosophical discussion with my friend has made me feel much better and given me a better outlook on life.
Other than that, when I’m stressed I just do things I enjoy. I’ll have an ice cold beer, listen to music on my headphones, hookah, play DOTA…just things that make me feel comfortable and I enjoy.
I think that people making you laugh or smile is a good example of something you could keep track of, although I have to wonder… if you are attempting to keep track of that does it take away from the carefree enjoyment? Does that make sense… maybe it doesn’t…. Anyways, I’ll tell you things that me smile: puppies, squirrels, new leaves budding on trees, people jogging who run funny with their arms up like a T-rex, finding the sleeping person in almost any long lecture and watching their head bounce up every few minutes when they realize they’re asleep, etc.
I’m not quite sure what the point is of that body scan thing, so I don’t blame you for not doing it all the time. If I was supposed to focus on parts of my body I think I would end up more depressed thinking about how displeased I am with my physical self, but that’s just me bringing myself down.
I manage stress in a number of ways. When I’m really stressed out, the first thing I do is make a list of things I need to get done; I get organized! Another thing I like to do is cook, it relaxes me and makes me feel good about myself. I like to go on walks, to go places alone. Lately I’ve felt like I never get any time to myself, it’s like if I do something without inviting half of my friends to come with me I’m a bad person, and I hate that! Sometimes it’s nice to just do something alone, go to the park and walk around, bring my camera and take some cool shots of things, stuff like that. Now that it’s nice outside it’s always fun to take a blanket and lay in the grass and read. If I’m really stressed out I do yoga. I used to do yoga every night, I should probably start doing that again…
Anyways, I don’t know how much any of that helps, but hopefully you aren’t really that stressed out! Just think about your awesome backpacking trip to Europe and there is no way you will still feel super stressed or depressed! :-)
I’m really glad that you’re willing to tell people that you’re seeking counseling. I’m not sure that you ever told me outright, but you hinted at enough that I knew already.
I think a lot of analytical people (i.e. engineers) have an issue with doing things that have no traditional, easily identifiable purpose. The mindfulness activity doesn’t earn you money, save you time or have a measurable result. I don’t think you have the problem to the degree that others do, I have met some people that don’t seem to put any value in the arts. I would suggest reevaluating why things are important to you. Maybe an activity that helps you relax and know yourself better is worth doing, but it’s possible that the mindfulness activity isn’t that activity.
I don’t really stress out very much. Actually, my dentist asks me if I lead a stressful life because I grind my teeth in my sleep. (I have to wear a bite guard or my teeth would turn into little nubs) So, maybe I’ve managed to push my stress into my unconscious mind.
I find that it’s best to do an activity that distracts the analytical part of my brain. My brain seems to run in overdrive a lot, I always have some type of distraction while I work (TV, music, something…I swear I’ve watched the entire Scrubs series 10 while doing homework). I find that exercise allows me to veg out. While I’m running, I may be working hard physically, but my brain is very relaxed. Like Elise mentioned, laying in the grass and reading is about the best thing ever. Reading helps me relax, too. Instead of attempting to turn off my brain, reading forces my brain to focus in the topic at hand. It’s like gate control theory.
Elise – going places and taking pictures of cool things is so much fun. I haven’t done that in a long time.